aside A COMPLAINT TO ALL BASTARD HOLDERS

An acquaintance of mine who fathered a child out of wedlock a while back was castigating a couple of us single and childless bachelors about our immaturity and failure to step up in the world the other day.

 

His argument even went as far as theorizing that the core reason for our not siring babies and not harboring ‘baby mamas’ was us not being fertile enough to impregnate some of the many readily available BIU/DMI degree alumni lying around m’ma kwalalamu…kuphulisa kuja kukumativuta khalangati chifukwa nde kwabowoka.

 

I always find it tricky talking over responsibility, life progress , and maturity(or anything of that sort) with people okuti anaphulisa or kuphulisidwa pa tchire…simply because most of these fertile folks will never admit that them bearing a child  was a mistake and not part of their short term goals…and me antagonizing them in that department makes me come off as a dick…thank god there is Pabwalo.

 

Let me explain:

I feel like after magaye have gone through the initial mbola of phuli,and then just right after birth of their unplanned offspring, everything suddenly becomes a blessing!!

 

I am in no way insinuating that unplanned babies are lesser or not fit to be labeled as sanctifications….but to try to act to the world like that shit was always in your life plans and that you are now suddenly an expert on family science is just plain blasphemous….experts don’t make nor produce mistakes…

 

Timangokupasani ulemu apumbwa inu!

 

Now as this lot progress through the motions of time, acquiring new things, getting better jobs, moving up in the world basically, they start developing this superiority complex, forever ganging up on us childless bachelors; kumatigayila ma plan ogula ma plot, kulima and shit like that which I feel time yina yake azi uzana okha okha ku ma meeting awo ‘amakolo achinyamata’…I’m assuming amachitika.

 

Don’t get me wrong, kukhala ndi zinthu ngati ma plot is really progressive and I personally encourage my fellow young people to have such ambitions, but when someone judges me kuti I am immature for not possessing a plot of land is just plain Ludacris!!(woyimbayo)

 

Chifukwa chokuti iwowo are panicking and  akukakamizika kukhala nazo because of their unplanned  child nde they should overbear us with pressure is just plain unfair

 

Tilekeni nafe tibeleke kaye , mwina we shall sense the urgency of acquiring land and farming….nanga munthu umangolima ulibe womudyesa?

 

Nde ena akumatopesaso ndi ma ‘baby mama’ awo….

 

Anthu okuti poyambapo akungobonzana ndi frenzo wako anali ofewa  and where fun to be around with (mwinaso iweso kumawonakoso kuti utha kupeza mwayi) pano nde ndi nyambalo.

 

Now after moving in with ‘bae’ and manifesting their territory, you are suddenly bad company, owawaledzeresa ndi ku wamwera  ndalama amuna awo, immature, going nowhere in life and they feel sorry for you.

 

Meanwhile, they are respecting the living shit out of awful guys (magaye amahule enieniwo ) akuti just because nawoso they are dads…they must be mature…shaking my head… kupusa kumeneko is why anakupasa mwana iwe!

 

Nde imwe, ma baby mama? Mwachitika uli? Tinalakwanji ife?

 

Just because we are childless don’t mean you should unfairly stereotype us….there is a new type of discrimination out there, and it’s against the childless bachelor

 

Nde mumaona ngati pali chanzeru chokuti anyamata/azibambo ophulisa nthawi yawo isanakwaneanga kambirane ? They are better off being in the company of us men who heeded parents’ and ‘life choices’ counsellors’ advice on unwanted pregnancies and use of contraceptives.

 

Ife ndi ma success story tu! Unless you want your future son or daughter to walk in their horny parents’ shoes mu ma early twenties mwake.

 

The reason why you gang up on us must surely to collectively mask your shame, get all self-righteous and use that pretense to be horrible human beings to your so called single  friends and acquaintances.

 

But what do I know?

 

Mwina nane ndibereke kaye wanga.

 

The end

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