aside Parents & Nudes

Last Friday Big Daddy Bae was part of the 15 only people in Ntcheu who could afford to go out and drink the end of the week away.

The mood was somber as each reflected privately on the year ahead and got lost in individual thought.

Until somebody started talking about nudes and nude photo/video scandals on social media….then we all livened up quite quickly to engage in debate.

I would like to share some excerpts of that conversation and the highlights of our discussion for your reading pleasure.

Let us first agree on one thing: nudes, whether they are in form of photos or videos are loved by everyone (young, old, religious, savage, male, female). This is mainly because behind every production of each nude there are real people with known relatives (kaya ndi ma spouse, daughter, son,father, mother  friend, work acquaintance etc), sometimes it’s just people you have heard about or individuals known by your friends…I can go on and on but the main point here is that it is ‘scandal’ that drives the popularity of nudes to the extent of mothers exchanging them with their ‘apongozi’…

I however disagree with circles that equate nudes with porn…

They might be similar on account of them (both) featuring naked people in sexual innuendo.

But your mother might not like looking at explicit pictures/videos of Mandingo or Jason Slayer(pat yourself on the back ngati mayina awa mukuwaziwa…if you don’t, just google) and might even consider this demonic but she would automatically forward any nudes finding their way to her Whatsapp account simply because of their scandalous nature i.e ‘such n such businessman is cheating on his wife with such n such BIU specimen’

Who knows? Maybe nudes are the gateway to full frontal porn addiction but so far I haven’t gotten any requests  for pictures/videos of bigger dicks and more action from the old ladies I share nudes with…mwina ena zikulowera kumeneko, koma ine I just don’t think so.

Anyway the fact of the matter in this modern Malawi is that not only are our parents enjoying and distributing homemade sex photos and videos, but also becoming alarmingly and increasingly involved in the production of them…of course kuti zipange leak and zivaye viral sizikumakhala zofuna but rather where the scandal is embedded and eventually fuelling the distribution…you see the conundrum here?


So the big question is:

If someone sent you a link of a nude (let’s say a video) and the person was like ‘iyi ndi nude yamasteni ako’ would you follow that link and download that video to confirm whether it’s really your mother?


Sadly I have no known acquaintances whose parents have been embroiled with such scandal to seek their experience in such situations…but I feel this raises a serious ethical dilemma and some moral perplexing:

If you don’t open and view the video you won’t seriously know or verify whether it is indeed you mother.

But what if it’s really your mother (regardless of your convictions of her morality) and you open it, how will you live with yourself afterwards?

If its not, then it will just be a huge sigh of relief then eh?

What if its not (but you not knowing this) decide to not open it either way:

Don’t you owe the person who brought you into this world some verification of some sort instead of treading on the line of the unknown (masteni sangapange zitavuta motani…….koooooooooma mwina ndizotheka ways ways)

In whatever possibility or context, what is it really that would make it ok or morally legal for a person to open a supposed nude about his parent?

If the ethical option is to not open at all costs, then how does one verify? Through secondary means? But isn’t that as every bit hypocritical as those born agains who abstain from sex but maintain an impressive porn collection for masturbatory purposes?

There is no generic answer to all this…no one-size- fit- all policy

I have friends who swear kuti iwowo zivute zitani, kaya nzoona kaya zabodza they would open and watch the full extent of it all…ngati ulidi uchitsiru wa amayi wawo, awuone ndiku uziwa onse okha, osati azimva kwa ena………………………………………………


Others feel you shouldn’t open no matter what; respect and uphold that visual dignity you have for your parent at all costs…ngati uli uchitsiru ukhale wawo..

Ine ndimaona ngati it just bottoms down ku makulilidwe amunthu…anthu ena anakula mofoyira basi, they would actually open

What do you think?


  1. Nice read.

    I think it is porn. If there are naked people, in sexual acts or situations, it’s porn. It might not be explicitly labelled as such, but it is. I do agree that it has a subtle difference in that it has as a, ‘scandal’ nature to it. That’s what makes it so widespread and so easy for people to say, “Did you see person X’s nudes? Crazy right?” I think it’s almost “acceptable porn” if you will..


    • I would say porn is mainly watched for its aesthetic qualities…while nudes it’s mostly as u too put it :scandal… Nobody is eager to say: look at a politician’s nude because of the aesthetic nature of his jib..thus i feel the main difference between them


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