aside ‘Exes & whores’

Yes, I have hooked up with an ex whilst we had both moved on and where seeing other people.

No, I absolutely felt no remorse afterwards and quite enjoyed the experience frankly.

Yes, the ex was way more voluptuous than the then present bae…but that’s beside the point

No, it wasn’t the only time I had gone back to ‘reclaim some long lost goods’

Yes, it all contributed to complicating my life further.

No I do not consider myself a very good person….

Now that we have got that out of the way, I would like us to freely dissect and analyze this phenomenon:

Many a times, a lot of people have fallen prey to the ‘snare of the lurking ex’….this is a situation where by romantic feelings and ‘nyere’ resurface following the re-introduction of an ex into someone’s life.

Whether one can claim resolving all issues with a past romantic acquaintance or burning all contact bridges to a certain person there still exists that possibility of the two people (in question) hooking up somehow, somewhere in a particular scenario.

Nde makamaka ikhale situation yokuti magaye wo amadyana ma plain time yinayake—–>.in chemistry that’s what we call a covalent bond, for the two people will forever share electrons and be a part of each other for time immemorial…

forever n ever

A great example of a covalent bond is water, and some of us are familiar with that Chichewa  ‘Madzi sayiwala khawo’ idiom concept.

So ask yourself this question dear reader ‘are you certainly sure that you truly and absolutely moved on from all of your previous sexual/romantic endeavors?

The ‘supposed’ model boyfriends, husbands, wives, et cetera will come out strongly that the past is behind them and not for a moment do they sit back and reminisce about their carnal past, while the more honest folks among us will even disclose that not only do they recollect such memories but also utilize them as graphical masturbatory aids….ena amabunyulira ndithu…

Don’t get me wrong, in no way I’m I insinuating that people don’t move on from each other after exploring each other’s genitals…but rather that a lasting possibility will forever exist until one of you dies or moves to another planet.

In my short adult life, I have observed past lovebirds and sex-buddies acting all friendly and cordial towards each other ena to the point of double dating with their current partners who are fully aware of the history that exists…

Indeed I have watched enough chick flicks and soap operas to not deny such possibilities, but to actually experience it at a front row perspective always leaves me flabbergasted:

How do they do it?

Nde amakapangana hug in greeting or kuvinisana, doesn’t that evoke some emotions or sexual appetites long suppressed?

Can somebody really become 100% unsexy overnight m’gwirizano wa maliseche ukangotha or are some people lying to themselves and most importantly their partners?…akuti ‘yea we used to date, but we friends now, I can’t avoid him/her, we have so many mutual buddies and we hang around the same circles, don’t worry though, nothing can ever transpire between us ever again………….i love you’

Bullshit!….especially the ‘I love you’ part

What if it doesn’t work out between the two of you? Shall it mean that you shall be added to his/her group of ‘plutonic’ friends? Shall you guys go around town ‘kutchila’ while ignoring each other’s genitals?…kodi angosanduka eunuch all of a sudden?

This is all a recipe for disaster and warranted awkwardness…

I don’t know, maybe some people got it all figured out right down to the dot…maybe it really does have to do with maturity….i wouldn’t know, I have only been this old for a short time,

All I know is that I will never become that mature to accept that crap.

Sikuti anthu tizidana tikaleka kuswirana…but rather if people have moved on, they should at least distance themselves from their exes, for the sake of their new partner and out of general human respect…its common sense

It might be ok for you and your ex to hang around each in the most true sense, but it’s another story to your partner…this is not ‘Isidingo’ or some ‘Days of our lives’ shit…let us pull our heads back into the real world.

Bump into each other at the club: a simple ‘hello wave’ is ok and sufficient…osati chi hug kuno! kenaka kumanyekhuliranaso…a chibwenzi anu atayima poteropo kukunyamulirani drink kudikira kuti mumalize…

‘my new bae is over there but we need to talk’

Also only be present in the same WhatsApp group if both of your partners are there also…otherwise mufuna muzitani? Platform yokuti muzipanga flirt covertly under the asylum of group convo?

logical flow

I repeat; keeping your distance (i.e.geographically, emotionally, digitally) from an ex should be paramount if you want to assure your partner of your impartiality towards the ex in respect.

But what do I know?

I’m just a douchebag who once kept open all communication channels to an ex with the intent to keep the possibility of reviving erotic acrobatics vulnerable …

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