aside The thing about Parties nowadays…

What happened? I can’t remember the last time I attended a party worth reminiscing over. I remember a time when people would get together over a bucket of punch and a few kilos of meat, taking us to the early hours of dawn – leaving a good story to tell for weeks. I know ambiri we like to tell ourselves kuti tinakalamba. Koma to hell with that. Look at the kids shadowing us? They spend half their time on their phones during a night out. Ena amachita kubweleka ma keys kuti akapange charge phone mu galimoto while the rest are inside having a good time.

Does age have anything to do with these diminishing standards of party life?

Yes. Of cause. I however do not believe that parties themselves have maintained the same standards as before. We cannot be the lone variable between fun and boring.

In the many years that I have spent partying and clubbing, I have upheld a basic principle of living life like there is no tomorrow. I have tried my level best to keep up to date with the ‘trending’ people and places (not like alipo ambiri). But it just feels like parties are simply not what they used to be back then.

Let us start with the basics. Organising! These days kwachuluka ma organising crew. Achina ‘chani’ events, ‘chani’ promotions, ‘chani’ entertainment, etc. Parties are not about the fun anymore.  Nkhani ndi makobidi basi. “Why buy Rosé when we can get a Bardo?” “

bardo classic red
Quality at an affordable price

Why buy ma 6 pack a Heineken when ma green ali half down?” Ena amvekere “all the Vodkas taste the same, tiyeni tingogula wathu wathu waku Malawi”. Suddenly we are at par with Russia at making their own drink? All in the name of profit i guess. By the time you realize that your K20, 000 ticket was for 3 bottles of green, a shitty soya beef sausage, and a germ infected salad – it is already too late. I don’t have issues with making an honest business out of entertainment. Vuto ndi loti, ma organisers amasiku ano don’t know the first thing about arranging a fun time for people. umbuli ndi umphawi.

Then pali anthu who do the same shit koma iwo sikutinso ndi ma legit business group ayi. Amatiyitanira ma braii, kumati bring a bottle, or tiyeni tisonkherane, koma in the back kumayan’gana how to make a win out of anzawo! Anthu akumatako zedi. Enafe nde timakomedwa easy. Kungotiwuza kuti kuli mabebi abho! I am on my way in my kama vitz with a crate of chill and a ‘casket’ of wine. Kumeneko kumakazindikira kuti the party was in my Vitz all along. Panya panu.

So if the organising itself is compromised, there isn’t a party to look forward to in the first place is there? Now let us assume that the organisers are legit (and alipobe ena amene amayesesa). For some reason, people still believe in ma ‘crews’ and ‘cliques’ even at social gatherings. A party these days is basically a cluster of rings, rather than a bunch of people having a good time together. Crew yina ikhonza kukhala pa braii stand (gulu yosadya lunch pa den), ena akhala pama drinks (Zidakwa), last crew ndekuti yabebesa dance floor. Kwinako kumasinthana malo ngati kuti siife amodzi. How do people expect to have a good time if they are so bottled up in their tima ‘comfort zones’ all night? Mawa kumati munali ku party? Zopusa!

The dance crew

I think parties are becoming boring because people have become too insecure to have their own identity and would rather be associated to a group than represent themselves in a gathering. No wonder anawa akumangokhalira ma Instagram ku club. It’s all about the illusion and not the feeling. I for one find it ridiculous and stupid if anything. Osangokhala kunyumba bwanji?

Kenako kuli ma paparazzi ndi ma ‘party journalists’. Anthu ‘ophusa’ zedi. One reason why some people are unable to feel free and mingle at parties is because of their fear of becoming the next talk of the town. At parties we drink, we talk, we joke, we laugh… Sikuti everything you do at a party for fun defines your overall character. Nde anthu azipita ku party kuti azikayan’gana zimene anzawo akupanga? Basi kumajambula zithunzi ndi kumagawana pa WhatsApp. Ati “Nyamata uyu nde analedzera zedi!”. For fucks sake, get a life. What’s your deal? Personally, I don’t care. But ladies (not to generalize) are more easily drawn back than us guys by what people think. Correct me if I am wrong ladies, but would you rather be labelled as the quiet antisocial bitch (wamatama) or the wild and noisy bitch (hule)? Ine ndikuwona ngati bola wamatamayo. Eventually, in the process of trying to avoid ma paparazii, parties become a symbolic event where people just show up but not party at all. Anthuwa akutiwonongera zinjoyi.

This is why we think that we have outgrown the fun. Siichoncho ayi. We just have too many assholes out there killing it for us.

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