Just recently I was accused by a buddy of mine of being involved in the business of sleeping with my friends’ exes.
From here on forth ‘Ex’ will refer to girls that have had sexual relations with a guy regardless of the number of times or overall length of the relationship
Apparently I have a thing for kutsatira pamene ma’frendzo anapondapo. Have I slept with my friends’ exes? Do I find their current girls attractive? Would I sleep with them if they were to break up? Yes! Yes! and Yes!
Why not? Kodi mukuwona ngati mukasiyana ndi zibwenzi zanu ndekuti basi iwowo amasanduka ma sisters athu? Not that kind of party bro. Imeneyo pachizungu timati ‘catch and release’.
So about this revelation. I think it is a good thing! We can now establish that you and I my friend have a lot in common when it comes to taste in women. I wouldn’t be banging your Ex if I wasn’t attracted to her in the first place? If anything, this should be bringing us together not furthering us from each other. Don’t you see that we share a common taste? I don’t re-call you changing your beer kumowa just because I have ordered the same brew. This is as close as it gets to toasting using women.
Let us also not forget the ladies’ voice in the matter. Paja masiku ano kuli promoting women’s rights as decision makers. Sex is an act of two. Clearly akazi amenewa have no issue sharing a bed with the Snr Chief. Not to say that I have more to offer or anything, but they didn’t seem to mind taking me up on the offer. Kodi mesa anthu mukasiyana ndekuti basi people have to move on? What better way of moving on than getting freaky with a friend of the Ex? I call that progress. Progress and promoting women’s rights. I’m such a saint.
Instead of being criticized and looked down on, I feel like I deserve a little credit. In many cases, I have found my friends’ girls and flings very attractive, but I never make a move while they are together. Why? Respect my brother. Thou
shall not bed a friend’s girl. The fact that I can ignore my self-interests and patiently wait for things to ‘dissolve’ between you two makes me a sound guy (and there are not too many of those going around these days). Next time I suggest that you offer your lady freely, even before the break up.
Nde pali anthu ena ake amanyoza ma Ex awo. Ati “musiyeni, tinapondamo kale”. I know how comforting it feels to think that an Ex is sexual garbage after you are done with her. Zilimbiseni mitima. At least you have something to tell yourself when I am exploring that fine ass. You assume that you have been there and done that but brother, have you really really ‘been there’ and really really ‘done that‘? I’ll just be a little thorough to make sure that you did us proud. It’s the least I can do for a lady that had to deal with your bullshit (and if you are my friend, you are full of bullshit).
Just like girls, we boys also like to talk. If it is not about football, we are talking about women. Everyone knows that you can never truly appreciate what someone has gone through without actually experiencing it. Eyetu – ‘Experiencing it’. A true friend would want to understand what another friend went through to better connect and support him. What better way than to get in bed with his Ex? I am actually quite disappointed in my friends that have not slept with my Exs (Yet). Does this mean that you do not want us to connect? Why am I the only one making an effort here? Or is it my Exs that are giving you a hard time. Kumawuzana, I can give you a few pointers. What are friends for right?
Lastly. Let me play the victim here. I should have mentioned that my friends belong to societies’ top 85% man-whores (ine 84 and below). Ma list onse a ma players anatulukamo. Ma list onse amahule adyamonso. So imagine how many girls I would have to refrain from screwing if I was to consider their Exs? To make it worse, ali ndi ma baby mama, ma current and pending girlfriend, ndi ma side chick pomponso. So how is a guy like me expected to maneuver under such limitations?