aside A message from Big Spiritual Daddy Bae

It’s another Friday!

The cue day for ‘imitation born again Christians’ to cease posting hypocritical bible laced messages on social media and return to giving in to their hearts’ desires; kaya ndi mahule, bhawa ndi zosutasutazi…well to the next Sunday, then we are back to getting flooded with ‘holier than thou’ updates on Facebook and twitter.

It’s not like Big Daddy Bae blames such people, we are living in a ‘‘prophetic bubble’’ for chrissake!

Nowadays it seems getting yourself a spiritual father (Papa) or membership into some sort of ‘divine’ family will get you places. I personally know of people who have gotten jobs, scholarships, cars, wives, husbands and even beauty makeovers over their affiliation with ‘so and so’ ministries or whatever prophet/pastor amene amawanyekhulira bwino.

Ndi zabobho,

Mwinadi all these are indeed spiritual blessings from above, but if God does indeed work in mysterious ways, let me just say there is nothing mysterious over some of the favors or grace being rendered unto some of these people…it’s a pattern that has been right in our faces for too long now:

You get someone who you have known for a very long time, Nigga has been utmost moderate in everything religious most of his life, zinthu zimapezeka kuti sizikuwajamila mmene iwo akufunira mani wo, next thing you know the guy grabs himself a spiritual daddy or starts following some pastor, then he proceeds to leaving whatsapp groups anthu mukamatumizilana ma nudes or mukamatukwana…even going so far as to defriend people like Big Daddy Bae over stupid things they post on facebook…

Surely after all this affirming action the ‘spiritual rewards’ start coming in abundantly, next thing you know adha aja akuyendesa Golf, is employed somewhere , has a sweet born again fiancée wachithako and sikuti watuluka tulukaso kunja

All this is fair and warranted…ndi zabobho

Its only weird and awkward akagwidwa uhule kapena kuti mwakumana nawo ku Cokepeat atavala hoodie akuswa ma dansi.

As I said this is a pattern that has been repeated too many times:

These are the same type of people back in the day in secondary school who were rushing to join SCOM J.C.E kapena MSCE ikayandikila…koma nkumabunyulabe pakati pa usiku daily.

In college these were the people who had no sense of identity and had a mess of insecurities inside of them and found figured being born again would gain them some much needed social acceptance and platform to blow some emotional steam.

My theory largely dwells on the fact that we are living in tough times; unemployment is at an all-time high but we keep on receiving fresh graduates month in month out, our money circulation is in shit thus even the most innovative young business minds are failing to find startup capital to  kick start their enterprises.

Couple this with the fact that atsikanaso akungobonzesa kwa midala and kubonza mahule has become normal to young Malawian males…zinthu sizikuoneka bwino

Then …

eva 2

Enter men of God: pastors, bishops, evangelists and prophets

They are feeding off this sense of hopelessness and offering alternatives to young vulnerable people in the form of complete packages right down to who they deem appropriate for you to marry.eva 4

Sunday sermons nowadays distinctly resemble business and self-esteem tutorials ripped off the scripts of online motivational coaches.

All I am saying is that if things were running much better in this here country we wouldn’t have all these pastors and prophets…enawa kumakhala kusowa chochita…christianity is a booming business and you best believe.

Our shitty economy is turning us to God…and that is ok.

We all need social safety nets to mask our insecurities, ndi chifukwa chake enafe timalemba zopanda nzeru pa net…

Say hello to your spiritual father for me

Love

Big Daddy Bae

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