aside Big Daddy Bae and the Mulhakho wa tribalism

For about four years now, every September (on a particular designated date) the Biggest of daddies ‘Bae’ has always been invited to the ‘Umhlangano wa Maseko Ngoni’ festival which is a cultural celebration commemorating the legacy of the Ngoni people inhabiting the districts of Ntcheu, Dedza, Thyolo(Bvumbwe), Mwanza, Neno and the Angonia district of Mozambique.

It’s a fine opportunity to imbibe in ridiculous amounts of alcohol, kuyimba nyimbo zotukwana and gaze upon naked breasts…

similarly all across Malawi; different tribes hold their own cultural tribute events were likewise there are banquets of liquor, naked breasts and pot bellies…

more boobs

all in the name of cultural pride and identity…I am talking about the Mulhakho wa Alhomwes, Umtheto wa Zwangendaba Ngonis, Kulamba, Mgumano wa a sena ndi Amang’anja…etcetera etcetera.

would you look at those….

All of these are touted as common strategies in promoting individual cultures, cultural exchange and cultural tourism among the different tribal grouping that glue together to make up our glorious Republic…and best believe the government always lends a hand in sponsorships of such and the state president himself can even put in an appearance depending on how ‘good or naughty’ the boys and girls in a particular tribe have been…yes just like Santa Claus.

Now as someone who was born in the U.S of A and then forcefully brought to Malawi against his will, Big Daddy Bae has always looked at these cultural events with some substantial skepticism…

First and foremost these events are heavily politicized to the point of them losing all cultural significance …making this another tool in the disbursement of political affiliations along tribal differences in this country….

Then there is the issue of tribal superiority complex; as far as we acknowledge that tribalism exists and is rampant in all aspects of our society, however the turn in which some of these cultural ‘happenings’ are going is downright Nazistic :

When Lhomwes are reminded that they are in majority and should thus dominate the rest of us this brings to mind memories of 1926 when one fine gentleman by the name of Adolf Hitler advocated for the ascendancy of the German master race (Ubermenschen) to the top of German society, then European society and finally world domination…

very smart and casual

When Ngonis are encouraged to look down upon the Tumbukas and the Chewas as inferior groups this brings fond recollections of how some of the Germanic peoples of Europe (Austrians, Belgians, dutch , swedes, Nordics etc) were inclined (by Hitler’s third reich) to look down on Slavic peoples(Russians, central/ eastern Europeans) and Jews as sub-white people who were more animal than human, thus be indifferent to the suffering and atrocities committed upon them.

All I’m saying is that no group of people in this country should ever feel any justification for being better than another on the sole basis of whatever statistics can be conjured or historical significance of the group in question.

Osamayiwala kuti things do change over time, remember how we all thought the Lhomwes were only good for being cheeky houseboys and seductive house girls koma pano its their time (and they know it)…and in any case at the rate at which intermarriages are going we are all mutually assured of our cultural differences kusungunuka ngati sobo kutsogoloku

Instead of multiple disparate commemorations why can’t we simply just have one big national one where all tribes can showcase their individual aspects plus compare naked breasts all in the spirit of one Malawi and national unity?

Osati basi magule ndi mabere aku ntundu kwanuko muziona nokha….si bho

Sharing is caring

Ife tili ku Bishop Mackenzie tonse tinkacheza ndikumamwera pamodzi opanda sankho, panalibe gulu la amwenye, kapena lama Australians…olo in our student body committee kunalibe za ma special advisors (on nationality basis)ngati zimene a mayor ena ake amafuna kupanga introduce…we were all simply Bish Mac kids wearing the same school uniform kungosiyana kwake enafe tikaweruka timabwerela mmakwathu kumakayankhula Chichewa ndikushowa ana aku 18

Ask Isaac Mkangama

4 comments

  1. Is this a different Isaac Mkangama cuz if I remember correctly I was with him at Chigoneka fp school and Phwezi…that aside I really like the article…. We are a reduculously silent nation and that will bring the end of us. Good thing you pointed it out.

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  2. The author of the article seems to insinuate that all Lhomwes are enjoying the so called lhomwe status…. uuuuhhh thats not true. Check my head. Over time i guess there are some lhomwes who have suffered unsaid.. mistreatment and misjudgement just because Malawi’s leader is a Lhomwe. Seriously i guess at this point of time saying that so..so .politician is a good leader because he or she comes from some tribe is a total lie. Am a lhomwe yes but personally i get sick when my lhomwehood is being taken as a baseline for defining who iam… rather why cant you judge me basing on my perfomance.. capabilities and qualification?. If we continue talking about tribalism as the way we are talking these days am very sure we are missing some foundamental elements of human nature. Saying all lhomwe are bad eeeehh all chewa are hardworkers … fhwa all tumbukas are geniouses… dear friends of Malawi is that true. For my 24 years i have walked on this Beatiful and blessed but God forsaken land i have met all characteristics of people from all tribes in Malawi. Thanks but no thanks intergration is good but get me right but lets avoid labelling each other as mlhomwe .. mtumbuka or whatever. Lets not be used by these selfish people who have their personal interest on the forefront eventhough they claim to represent us…politicians akutionongera Mw…. yebo chomene…athuene tinyenyu munachela chela..

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    • Hie, thank you for your feedback, we take such very seriously :There was mention of Ngonis, and other tribes’ versions of cultural commemoration, it wasn’t the intent of the author to isolate a particular tribal group or cultural movement, maybe some examples were given in a not so flattering light, but the core reasoning was toward all cultural movements if you read very carefully and past the jokes /satire… No harm or specific attack was meant in this satirical piece… If you read Big Daddy Bae’s other articles you will notice that it is his signature style to satirise and make fun of anyone while addressing some issue underneath, however we apologise for any offense indirectly caused

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