aside BigDaddyBae & his nice ass-of GBV and sexual harassment

Whenever I meet and converse with someone who is familiar with Pabwalo, I usually get queried on how I got the moniker Big Daddy Bae:

Well it was given to me by a couple of female friends as a testament to my humongous size back then when I thought gym was life and that the size of my triceps were more significant than the size of my…(yep, you guessed well, congratulation you are officially a pervert)

What has that got to do with this article you ask?

Well for starters, this article is about gender based violence… and any act of GBV usually starts with the objectification of the victim, so in simple terms all I’m saying here is that my individuality as the “biggest of daddies bae” is none more than the sexual objectification of my persona and you guys encourage it…..

But that’s not all:

Back in uni, at work and at Chez ntemba night club-Blantyre just to mention a few places, I have been told by a girl kuti “I have a nice ass”….
ass2
Also my “nice bottom” has been slapped/smacked by girls more times than a Gule Wamnkulu drum,
drum
and don’t get me started on my bulging chest and well sculptured arms…

You get the point dear reader,

But has Mpambira Aubrey kambewa ever complained?

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever…in fact quite the opposite; kwa ine all those are score points…

Then again what if instead of Big Daddy Bae it was Big momma Bae , and instead of Mpambira Aubrey kambewa I was Pamela Odala Kambewa?

What if all these experiences had happened to a female? I’m sure it would all be termed ‘sexual harassment’ and said female would evolve into one of those natural haired, mphonongolo-filled nose and bespectacled ‘woke’ females we see terrorizing our facebook timelines with feminist quotes and man-hate speech…
feminist

But don’t you worry my miserable feminists, I am not here to be a cry baby and in fact BDB is actually pro-women rights…

I am only here to ponder and peruse on what should be constituted as gender based violence, with sexual harassment being the primary form.

For instance; when I compliment Nya Rose on her nice eyes and smooth skin, it will be considered as sweet (nxaaaauuuuuuuw such a gentleman),

if I go further to compliment her athletic physique that will still be considered as acceptable and morale boosting,

but then when I compliment her nice succulent lips and utter sentiments owing to the fact that she has a “blow job smile” this will raise some eyebrows and get me labeled ngati ‘wosokoneza’, and if I try to push it and tell her kuti she has a “nice ass”- Mbola!!…

Also the same statement “you have a nice ass” which is sweet or sexy when said to a girlfriend, prostitute, mahope, MG2 and slay queen might be interpreted differently when applied to a female co-worker, your sister’s friend or your neighbor.

Ok maybe we are talking too much about sex here, and I’m sick of accusations that Pabwalo implants motives of infedility, prostitution and nastiness among its readership…upeza njonda ina ithawa paden usiku uno waku chez kukasoka mahule just because takambapo za chez and nice ass…mumuziwe yesu ndipo musiye kupitisa ma STI pa den, Pabwalo doesn’t endorse nor condone your stupidity (panya pako ndipo)

Let us move on-wards to physical violence:
domestic

Men who beat up women, women who beat up men, women who beat up other women, men who beat up other men all disgust me at the same degree…only thing lower in my books is grownups who beat up children.

But mainstream media, reporting and interventions are unfair and biased toward the exaggerated victimization of women.

I am not downplaying nor denying the victimhood of women, quite to the contrary, what I am against is the vilification of males to be sole perpetrators of GBV, when in fact males can also be victims and are in fact the largest percentile victims of all violence globally.

Ask yourself this question: what has been done about violence to males in terms of awareness and interventions?

Hardly anything.

Otherwise people psychoanalyze males and use such colorful words and phrases as “cultural-socio upbringing, patriarchy, female scape-goating when it comes to justifying the under reporting and inadequate actions against GBV when males are the victims.

One victim shouldn’t be termed to be better off or tougher than another on the basis of gender;

I have this friend who once got stabbed by his wife and when he reported the matter to police the issue was referred to couples’ counselling and he was explicitly told by the police that if ever the wife were to attack him again and he retaliated in defense he would be the one locked up…go figure.

Men are as much victims and perpetrators of GBV as much as women’s potential to be equally preys and predators.

If men are indeed socially constructed to be silent on GBV incidents why should that then be an excuse? Is that not a problem that must be dealt with actively?

Dis-aggregating efforts against gender based violence will never solve anything as long as one gender is under illusions to feel victimized always while the other feels disregarded and overlooked.

men's rights

We all suffer, lets end all violence…next time any lady decides to comment on my nice ass or feels like smacking it, they should buy me a drink first…muzindipanga kaye marinate mahule inu…

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