Allow me to start this article by categorically denying the popular belief in some circles that Pabwalo Entertainmen Network (PEN) is a “Chanco thing” and that timazibisa because of our respectable NGO jobs….
No, we are not a chanco thing despite BigDaddyBae’s numerous affiliations with ‘the College that god loved the most’…just because ndawazila wazila ku Umodzi and Valley hostels don’t mean I draw inspiration from the whole institution at large.
Also , sitimazibisa, Its rather unfortunate and depressing that our policy has been received as such, in any case I certainly do not make money off encouraging or validating prostitution for people, what my reasonably sized penis hopes at the end of writing each article is that enough interest is aroused to myself to enable me to select easy prey from the countless of DMs I eventually get from female fans…so as you can see dear reader; kuzibisa is counterproductive and retrogressive in this respect….PABWALO ENTERTAINMENT NETWORK:WE DO THIS FOR “THE SEX”
Enough about that, Valentine’s day is upon us!
The one day most dudes I know will not repeat underwear even though it’s a weekday…this day is filled with so much expectations, hopes, fake promises, fanaticism, flowers, red clothes, sex and chiseled beards….just like a UTM political rally, nothing new here.
But hey! Do not despair, the biggest of daddies bae is here to help you get through this game changing day for any sexually active fellow out there.
Firstly let us start with what should be truly expected at the end of this day:
For certain let all be assured that magaye ena ake asiya kubonzana for a good 3-4 weeks over caught feelings as to why Dzaddzie prioritized his heaven-recognized holy matrimony in his exudations of love and tenderness over his band wagon of other soulmates AKA side chicks….which is funny when you really think about it: MG2 getting angry for getting MG2 treatment …
But anyway dziko ili nilovuta, same above applies for people in girlfriend/boyfriend relationships, this is truly the one day you have to be assertive of who you pick to fly your love flag on social media…blocking or unfriending social accounts won’t work because of screenshot bitch! Just be assertive
You cannot be able to satisfy all your relationships…just pick the most important one…just make sure you mitigate the damage done to the rest of your side dishes though…muzawafuna
It’s like this: pali local chicken nde pali hybrid…
Local chicken is good for you and is what is recommended by the doctor, koma iyayi tisamanamizane nkhuku ya hybrid has its moments and ndiyonona, also can be prepared and eaten in a lot more ways than your beloved local chicken(deep fried, braai, bhoyilo, kebab style etc pomwe local chicken ndi bhoyilo chabe)…local chicken kungotiso kulimba kwambiri, kutsalira m’mano and too much msuzi, ….every guy knows what I’m talking about here.
And ladies if your man has no MG2s and zero trace of any college girl contacts in his phone be rest assured that dzaddzie ndi amahule, open your eyes!awa ndi magaye aja amakhala ndi zibwenzi kumabala, magaye amasanduka ma Patoranking ku chez: all bitches on their table inu muli phee pa den atakusiyilani phone pa den….like he even needs it.
Before this starts seeming too much like a one sided affair also note that men do get at the receiving end of the pretense, satanism and theatrics that happen at Chilima’s rallies, oops I mean that happen on valentine’s day:
Magaye kumakhala ku saver ma 30 pin from January salary kuti akadyese Mama pa Ryalls hotel pa valentine’s day only to get away with a peck on the cheek and a quick squeeze on the nuts beneath the table uku madam wo akukadyesa kwa workmate ake kumathoyazi akuvephi just soon after, and you wonder why she said she was not gonna take long because she had a 2 o’ clock report submission deadline…yep a co-worker dick deadline is what it was…there are jezebels out there my son!
So how should you spend this valentine’s? You ask
Well fuck all! Do whatever and whomever you want, zinthu zilibe manual izi…just remember two can play that game!
In any other case you do not need valentine’s day to show people that you love them, you only need it to trick those you want to start bonking or continue doing so kuti your feelings do sincerely go beyond their body or their money.